Every emotion has a purpose in our lives, so as love is entitled to several kinds of emotions. Life is not always about happy relationships neither it is about sad relationships. It is what we experience in our day to day lives is what makes our actions and reactions determined towards particular persons. Do we really understand all the shades of love in our lives? When we say we are in love, do we mean it or it is just an emotion?
Love is not an emotion
A lot of people still does not understand the real meaning of love. Love is not about possessiveness or putting your loved ones close to you always. People look to love as a property that has to be received and preserved. To assume that others are ought to provide it to us so that our life is loaded with love is the biggest misconception, which is the foundation of our sadness. It is not like any other object or a thing to be acquired. At times, even if some other person offers an abundance of love, we may not be able to take it or feel it the way it is being given.
Later, it becomes normal to blame others for not being with us or loving us. We do not give our mind some rest or pause to think about what can be right or wrong and we get swayed into emotions of disappointment. What I wanted to convey in this blog is shades of love in our lives but it is not an emotion. Why I feel it because I believe in the power of good emotions and positivity. Now when we get attracted to someone is not love it is an emotion which generates from our well-being (clubbed with heart and mind).
Just express your kind of love
What I wanted to talk about is self-love, let us all inculcate the feeling of self-love as one of the shades of love in our lives. Let us interlock and generate a feeling of love by making self-competent through relevant changes in our dealings with others. There is no other way to love and be loved in the world. The dynamic intimacy that lacks sweet feelings is not loved but lust. People often neglect to consider love as divine in its true essence. While dealing with others as well, let us ensure that our direct communications make them cheerful. You can help them by talking and assisting them to come out of their issues.
Yes, it is possible and not a problem anymore, it is just we have to realise and make it in action. Try to, appreciate their successes and be nice for the help granted from them. All these activities are just to express your kind of love.
The perk of proffering love to others is that it advances to our heart and makes us associated with others. It also offers confidence and security, eliminates fear and gives a feeling of being generous towards other people. One can get to know love by first forming before-mentioned feelings of being good to others. You only tell me, how can a person feel the love from counterparts if he /she is filled with ego, selfish tendencies and anger? These negative emotions are the devils and they crush the inner urge to love others.
Have we ever realized the difference between love and a companionship?
Almost everyone would agree that when you get married your life gives you a direction gradually to nurture your relationship into a companionship which we always looked for in your lives. I don’t want to discard anybody’s feeling, this is all personal experience of love and companionship. It can vary from person to person as we all have a different set of expectations from each other – especially the people who say “we don’t except anything for anyone” too have some beautiful expectations to owe from the person they love.
For a couple of years the girl (Jyotsana) lived a content married life and while she was happy in her own world, gradually she realized, there ‘s something missing into her relationship with her husband. Although she was happy spending time with her husband, giving ample importance and relevance to the in-laws and of course etc. etc. etc.
She got married to a person whom she loved, but later she felt lacunae in the relationship where she was missing a friend, a companion to her, which initially she thought she would get but with due course of time she couldn’t. She thought that being in Love is having a companion of life with all the emotional support that one needs.
She was wrong, she was completely wrong:
An instance: where she would ask her husband to go out for a dinner and sit for while chatting nothing special about anything. He would go, but it would be a proper dinner -dinner date and come back home. When asked to talk and share your day with me, I will do the same – he used to deny saying I’m tired, had a lot of work today. Quite annoying at times. She started feeling alone and depressed as she was missing the madness, the craziness, the connection that a companion offers. She has always been a friendly person and in return, if she is expecting the same – she isn’t wrong.
She kept on trying and asking him what’s the reason why you are ignoring, share with me if any problem but he will be just quiet and do not give her the expected or a satisfactory answer. Although Manas (the husband) was an introvert person by nature and a bit authoritative, which she knew she was puzzled by the behaviour, the ignorance and the emotional warmth missing in the relationship. Moreover, she also knew that he is not cheating on her, neither she is!
“As rightly said by Bertrand Russell Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of happy mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give.”
While she was experiencing a gap of true friendship and a bestie in her marriage, the suffocation and threat of losing her identity took her to a point where she started finding it outside or in someone who’s close to her (it is natural indeed).
Guess what happened, she met an old friend of hers, randomly in the market. She was happy to see him as he was the bestie to her for ages. But after marriage, she was all concentrated to her husband and busy in her married life. It was like a breeze meeting him; they sat at a coffee shop and chatted for hours. Wow, she was feeling relieved just by chatting and talking to her bestie after long. This feeling was amazing – gradually the touch and the sense of togetherness triggered her life and she started spending time and talking to him at a comfort level which she desires. Her husband used to ask her on her absence at home in the evenings sometimes, (he knew her friend), she was fair with him – on all this Manas was okay about it and wasn’t at all curious though. Alas, he couldn’t understand what he is missing in his life, which she was, but now she found her true companion in her bestie.
This simple and cute story shows us that we all have a split between our passion, love, sex and companionship in our relationships. But having said this, your ideal companion can be someone else too not necessarily your husband only. Love and companionship is an emotional bond that doesn’t fade with your ageing skin, but it can be found anywhere in anyone.
There is a piece in me that like to tenderly imagine my maverick and seditious soul. But, precisely, I love to have a picky and cosy relationship with my soul that can rub up against a little bit, putting me alive.