Every emotion has a purpose in our lives, so as love is entitled to several kinds of emotions. Life is not always about happy relationships neither it is about sad relationships. It is what we experience in our day to day lives is what makes our actions and reactions determined towards particular persons. Do we really understand all the shades of love in our lives? When we say we are in love, do we mean it or it is just an emotion?
Love is not an emotion
A lot of people still does not understand the real meaning of love. Love is not about possessiveness or putting your loved ones close to you always. People look to love as a property that has to be received and preserved. To assume that others are ought to provide it to us so that our life is loaded with love is the biggest misconception, which is the foundation of our sadness. It is not like any other object or a thing to be acquired. At times, even if some other person offers an abundance of love, we may not be able to take it or feel it the way it is being given.
Later, it becomes normal to blame others for not being with us or loving us. We do not give our mind some rest or pause to think about what can be right or wrong and we get swayed into emotions of disappointment. What I wanted to convey in this blog is shades of love in our lives but it is not an emotion. Why I feel it because I believe in the power of good emotions and positivity. Now when we get attracted to someone is not love it is an emotion which generates from our well-being (clubbed with heart and mind).
Just express your kind of love
What I wanted to talk about is self-love, let us all inculcate the feeling of self-love as one of the shades of love in our lives. Let us interlock and generate a feeling of love by making self-competent through relevant changes in our dealings with others. There is no other way to love and be loved in the world. The dynamic intimacy that lacks sweet feelings is not loved but lust. People often neglect to consider love as divine in its true essence. While dealing with others as well, let us ensure that our direct communications make them cheerful. You can help them by talking and assisting them to come out of their issues.
Yes, it is possible and not a problem anymore, it is just we have to realise and make it in action. Try to, appreciate their successes and be nice for the help granted from them. All these activities are just to express your kind of love.
The perk of proffering love to others is that it advances to our heart and makes us associated with others. It also offers confidence and security, eliminates fear and gives a feeling of being generous towards other people. One can get to know love by first forming before-mentioned feelings of being good to others. You only tell me, how can a person feel the love from counterparts if he /she is filled with ego, selfish tendencies and anger? These negative emotions are the devils and they crush the inner urge to love others.
Before you begin I would like to quote, that Love is immortal and there is something very special about love and relationships. This blog is not about any specific love or relationships tips and tricks but it will certainly give an insight into the eternal feeling of love and its essence. Keep reading Is love like weed or vice-versa…
As the title suggests is Love like weed or is Weed Like Love or Vice-versa. I would like to mention few points wherein we can relate our love feelings with weed (PS: this does not impose anyone to consume weed or any other kind of a drug, this is just a writer’s poetic compilation)
– Love is deep and connects every emotion of our lives. If I try to connect with weed here, many of us would agree that love has its forms of weed. What weed does is what love is. The approach is to understand that humans who consider love to equal to weed are not ruled always. Delving into literal terms will not make any sense here. The secret lies in acknowledging and holistically expressing love.
– with every stash of weed or a joint, we tend to get stoned into some other world only. Why this happens, it is because of the essence of the substance which makes you feel this way. Now, when we say love is immortal we consider this notion to be out of the world. When someone is in love the feeling is strong and overwhelming. We, tend to forget that it will not last forever and may end someday like a joint’s smoke. Considering this phenomenon acknowledging love for one-self gets lost and we tend to drag our lives into vain and no-where. Instead, try being you, and real, get in love with yourself so that eventually you get the path of immortal love.
The comparison and verdict of is love like weed
The idea of depicting just the two above is not the end of the explanation. Rather, numerous people take the wrong path in the name of weed, calling it love. The message what I wanted to portray is, not to consume weed, rather just be mindful of your relationships. Pay some respect to the person you love, be faithful to you first, then you can be loyal to others. Weed may get you to the wrong path, let love not do this to you. Be compassionate and kind. In my opinion, love can’t be like weed always as the strong point of weed are directly proportional to the bad points of love.
We all must have been in a relationship whether long or short. But each one of us cannot deny that we have never been in a relationship. Apparently, we kept on thinking that how we all shall be happy in a relationship. We at times tend to be in our dreams or filmy Duniya – as we call it and try to match those love elements in real life. But there is a factor which you guys might miss on – is the essence of relationships and we ponder on why my relationship with my partner is not smooth or not moving in the right direction.
I am going to share some important tips and tricks for a happy relationship. You can call them life hacks as well and if you follow them, as per my belief, I can vouch that you end up being a happy couple. Let’s get to this blog:
Trust your partner
We should always trust our partners. I have seen a lot of men and women who keep a check on their respective partner’s mobiles or emails or etc. why guys?? If you trust them, what is the reason to do that? Trust me, if they want to hide something they will anyways do that. Most importantly having faith in each other is the recipe of a true relationship.
Keep your egos aside
– Assume that there is a situation of hot discussion between you and your partner, what will you do? many times it ends up in cats and dogs fight – you know why because we clash our ego and cannot make it clam while it is needed the most. Will you try to make it up, you may find the answer is NO or sarcastic. The thought process is, if it’s not my mistake why should I say sorry, this is what we hear from a lot of couples.
Guys when one person is angry other have to be calm, this is the mantra of a happy and successful relationship. Trust me you won’t be small if you somehow calm your partner. In the long run, you and your partner will come closer to each other. This is being tried by a lot of people and the results are astonishing.
we tend to think that how can sex help in having a good and happy relationship. Ohh, then, guys you are mistaken. A lot of tests and research is done and its proven scientifically that if a couple has sex 2-3 times in a week they are happier, mentally, socially and physically. This is one of the crucial parts of a joyful relationship. Good sex not only releases stress but also bring us close to each other emotionally.
Spend quality time
– With this fast moving life, we forget the importance of being with each other in both good and bad times. More we spend time with our partner better our relationship will be. Go for a walk with him/her may be for 15-20 min but that time shall be totally yours. Or go on a dinner date with each other keeping your mobile phones aside. try to fetch out your time – talking about all things which both of you like. These things look kiddish but when you do it, you start feeling close to your partner. More you do it, closer you are.
Give Importance to each other’s work– This is another common problem that we see among couples. Especially, in the Indian context where men don’t give priority to his better half’s work or maybe females at the workplace. Giving equal importance to each other’s work will bring harmony and consent in a relationship. No Work is big or small and everyone’s work is important. If we understand this, the chances of having quarrel and fights will be minimal
Share home chores – Helping is caring – when we can teach our kids this, why can’t we do the same. Always help your partner in whatever he or she is doing. Be there in the home chores equally with them. The idea is to be with him or her. be there with her in the kitchen, assist her in kitchen stuff. it is not necessary that you should know about cooking. If he is washing his car she can help in that. These small things bring you closer. Similarly, she can be a help to him in his house stuff.
Give Space– Always give some space to the person whom you are associated with. People say why you need privacy. I say that everyone needs it to be men or women. Giving privacy is not that they are cheating on you. There are times where they want to be with themselves without worrying about other things. it is like rejuvenating oneself. They may be alone or with their friends or somewhere else where they may be just on their own. Trust me this is one of the important things which we tend to forget.
These are some of the hacks that if you follow, it will not only increase the trust and love in your relationship but you will start enjoying each other’s company more, making your relationship to sustain for a long time.
Have we ever realized the difference between love and a companionship?
Almost everyone would agree that when you get married your life gives you a direction gradually to nurture your relationship into a companionship which we always looked for in your lives. I don’t want to discard anybody’s feeling, this is all personal experience of love and companionship. It can vary from person to person as we all have a different set of expectations from each other – especially the people who say “we don’t except anything for anyone” too have some beautiful expectations to owe from the person they love.
For a couple of years the girl (Jyotsana) lived a content married life and while she was happy in her own world, gradually she realized, there ‘s something missing into her relationship with her husband. Although she was happy spending time with her husband, giving ample importance and relevance to the in-laws and of course etc. etc. etc.
She got married to a person whom she loved, but later she felt lacunae in the relationship where she was missing a friend, a companion to her, which initially she thought she would get but with due course of time she couldn’t. She thought that being in Love is having a companion of life with all the emotional support that one needs.
She was wrong, she was completely wrong:
An instance: where she would ask her husband to go out for a dinner and sit for while chatting nothing special about anything. He would go, but it would be a proper dinner -dinner date and come back home. When asked to talk and share your day with me, I will do the same – he used to deny saying I’m tired, had a lot of work today. Quite annoying at times. She started feeling alone and depressed as she was missing the madness, the craziness, the connection that a companion offers. She has always been a friendly person and in return, if she is expecting the same – she isn’t wrong.
She kept on trying and asking him what’s the reason why you are ignoring, share with me if any problem but he will be just quiet and do not give her the expected or a satisfactory answer. Although Manas (the husband) was an introvert person by nature and a bit authoritative, which she knew she was puzzled by the behaviour, the ignorance and the emotional warmth missing in the relationship. Moreover, she also knew that he is not cheating on her, neither she is!
“As rightly said by Bertrand Russell Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of happy mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give.”
While she was experiencing a gap of true friendship and a bestie in her marriage, the suffocation and threat of losing her identity took her to a point where she started finding it outside or in someone who’s close to her (it is natural indeed).
Guess what happened, she met an old friend of hers, randomly in the market. She was happy to see him as he was the bestie to her for ages. But after marriage, she was all concentrated to her husband and busy in her married life. It was like a breeze meeting him; they sat at a coffee shop and chatted for hours. Wow, she was feeling relieved just by chatting and talking to her bestie after long. This feeling was amazing – gradually the touch and the sense of togetherness triggered her life and she started spending time and talking to him at a comfort level which she desires. Her husband used to ask her on her absence at home in the evenings sometimes, (he knew her friend), she was fair with him – on all this Manas was okay about it and wasn’t at all curious though. Alas, he couldn’t understand what he is missing in his life, which she was, but now she found her true companion in her bestie.
This simple and cute story shows us that we all have a split between our passion, love, sex and companionship in our relationships. But having said this, your ideal companion can be someone else too not necessarily your husband only. Love and companionship is an emotional bond that doesn’t fade with your ageing skin, but it can be found anywhere in anyone.
While I was on my #solotrip last year to North India, I admired a couple sitting beside me in a cafe’ (Trek N Dine). I was reading a book “The One You Cannot Have” and sipping my fav coffee (Mocha).
After quite a while, I Overheard the girl saying to the guy these lines mentioned below (Essene of it, in my words), that took me to my life back few years, that I experienced a bit late, but those feelings were core from the heart:
“For the first time, I understood something I’d always wondered: nothing about love or sex is rational. In these domains, our passions rule, leaving us with heartbreak or euphoria, but always undeniably alive… Also, both feelings have their own prejudices, such as, “The best love lies on the foundation of friendship, and the best sex lies on the foundation of love….” AND ” I can still taste the sin of you on my lips”
Being Friendship Day today, It reminded me of connections, relationships, love, friends – what not all…. Well, with so many relations to name, there are few which can’t be named or judged by the societal norms. The whole idea to jot down few lines were to push up an idea on a different relationship which we might have in our lives but it remains hidden. So let’s start celebrating the real Essene of Friendship with the relationships that give us the passion which we seek in our lives. with a relationship that helps us to move out of our depression, sorrows, and pain. Because a friend is not only for the good times but for the times when you need them the most.
Hope you all rekindle the freshness of relationships and friendships forever. Be Happy People 🙂 Be with the one who never let you down and loves you unconditionally.
Leave a comment to let me know your point of view…. Or catch me on my Facebook Page – #spiritedblogger
It’s not just a day, but it’s a lifelong festival and celebration. Mother’s Day
The concept of celebrating Mothers Day on the second Sunday of May is very new in India and it can be said that in a time span of less than a decade, Mothers Day has been a great celebration.
My question is why only one day. Motherhood is forever.
Mothers give up a lot for their jobs: their waistlines, sleep, the backseat of their cars, years of peace and quiet. They’d even give their lives. When they see their kids rolling toward financial trouble, Mothers often become the human “speed bumps” in such cases, putting their own finances on stake.
The joy of celebrating mothers love is intriguing:) just for you mom and saluting all the mothers around the world. Here’s a short poem…….
I love when, you bring me close,
I love when you comfort me through my hushed and perfunctory voice,
I love when you fiddle with my hair,
The way you feed me,
The way you read me, Even with the Sun blazing in the sky,
Your shades of love are always with me
Your incredible power and courage gives me strength to move on
Your faith in me kicks up with the fire
I can’t imagine my life without you
Love you Ma!
Thanks for being there and loving unconditionally!
You’ve been the silent type. I could never expect a rain of roses from heaven sitting by your side.
The blue vault up there would never unfurl a rainbow on earth to thread my heart and yours before meeting the deep. You were much married, a dad and 13 years my senior. Yet, you showered my soul with the ambrosial waters of affection when I was parched with dejection and displacement. Oh yes! For me this was the period of drudgery following a dead marriage, disloyalty and divorce. Your riveting look could launch a music album in any soul.
How did you cross my path? Happenstance! My CV had been sent to your organisation and you landed up interviewing me. You spoke less (asked few questions) and I concluded mentally, “Okay! So here’s a guy with a stiff upper lip.” Before my second interview at your office I got selected as an HR & Admin Manager in a Civil Society Organisation. That should have been the end of a ‘transactional brush’ with you, a corporate coronate in a metro. But your WhatsApp line “Stay in touch” made all the difference.
Dining in a restaurant with a friend, by mistake I sent you my picture. I was thrown into a tizzy but you put me at ease. I wish I could archive the screenshot of those sweet words forever in my heart, which said I was beautiful. I loved being a shutterbug, because now I started sending you my snaps not by mistake but by choice.
However busy you were in your boardroom or trips abroad, you managed to stay connected. You called me a ‘bachchi’. It was the most intriguing connection, that something that I would never be able to explain rationally. Sometimes I would get impatient with you, “Why can’t you be a little more, mean some more and say much more?” Ah! Being ‘friend-zoned’ while high on limerence (infatuated love). On the totem pole of social status you were leagues ahead. I found in you a pivot on which hinged our beautiful friendship, proliferating as the splendour of fruitful vine. I could share anything with you, ranging from my love for animals, society shapers, Bollywood talk, Modiji’s speeches, my family, my amorous link ups, stories from the boot camp, music videos, forwarded icky multimedia jokes and what have you. Steadily you became a tower for me to lean on. You were my sounding board.
At work I was made in charge of communication, logistics, administration and HR. The CEO threw a spanner by declaring in a manner so sweet, “Do or leave!” It was a challenge, drafting policies, appropriating procedures and finally consolidating the work structure. With your encouragement, I could put the required muscle into it. How that one and a half year passed, though I was away from my daughter and family! My ex-husband got married to his steady and had a son through her. You made me strong. At work my contribution was duly acknowledged.
I loved your wit though you were conventionally reserved. I always wanted to pull your bristling moustache or muss up your hair with my fingers. I smile at the memory of the video I made with your pictures, assembling them for hours matching the leitmotif of my feelings to the powerful soundtrack in the background.
Your honey shaded eyes spelt honesty. Ours remained a ‘sattvik’, very incorrupt platonic friendship. You never ‘overpromised ‘or ‘tried to lead me on.’
If I would say something naughty you’d just smile it away with a cute spoiler alert! No summer gossamer flimsy romances held appeal! Our friendship scored over all this, with our souls being in it for the long haul.
Time ticking away the chiffony dream months, I returned to my hometown for my daughter. You enabled me to be the ‘ACTUAL ME’, as somewhere I had lost myself to a sea of struggles. I dedicate the song Somewhere Over The Rainbowto you, highlighting my platonic love. Yes, I could never be entitled to that rose garden, for we had met much later in life, manifesting through different timelines.
This post was written by Himani Pande and first appeared on Bonobology.com.
I guess it will be difficult today to explain this blog in my words. The play that I witnessed during Vifa is not only unforgettable, rather illustrious in nature. I wish you all readers could have had become a part of it, but that’s okay! I hope you could relate it with now !
With no more surprises, the play “Patni” (wife) was a sovereign show played solo by one and only outlandish artist/actor/writer/director Mr. Makarand Deshpande. Before I head over the gist and illustration of the show, I would like to mention #Vifa – Vihaan crew and artists that they have given an opportunity for Bhopal to witness this wonderful act by Makarand during Vifa -2016-17.
As the named suggests Patni – An eye-catching story of a husband who lost her wife in an accident, whom he loved intensely. This latest solo performance was like an untold story that occurs maybe in our lives as well, but we hardly talk to anyone about it. The play was well designed and soulfully executed by Makarand Deshpande. was a treat for the audience. Nobody wanted this performance to finish, but every story has its end…
He lives for her, he dies for her, he shares every moment with her, despite she is no more, still, she is alive, he tries to portray and convey that she has to leave one day. Though consciously and unconsciously he knew she isn’t there and won’t come back, but the aroma of love was alive. “Love is immortal”. was a treat for the audience. The struggle within him that he faces, to let her wife go got goose wombs to many in the audience …
The music in between, the lights that were thrown perfectly on his eyes and go on and off with his every dialogue takes the audience into another world. I personally ran through my own reel of life and my eyes had tears. He depicted and showed the audience that soul has no borders, it is in your veins and you remain through it all your life.
The music and the lights by the crew was commendable. It was indeed a treat for the audience. What a fine actor he is. His story ended with a note that –“Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy, you are crazy because you are in love. Love is intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.”
When I met him in person, I could not speak a word at first, had tears again and skipped a heart beat. Happy to write here that I could relate to his act with my life. The moment during his play he said – “jab asatya, satya ho jata hai, wo maya hai”...I flowed into the emotion in this line…
When I asked him what was “ruhani” in this play of yours, he answered he could not exactly explain and it is something which is inseparable from your soul… Sir this is for you from – SpiritedBlogger “I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, I love you as the hidden shadows are to be loved, I love you in secret, between the shadow and the soul.”
Guys this one is a bit different, but if you are in love, spread the word! Love you all! – Catch me of facebook and instagram…
I walk the memory lane because, few things in life take you to memory lane even though we don’t wish too. Often people judge you by your past. It’s a stigma that has to be avoided. Don’t judge anyone by the past, live in present and love the moments lived.AS —–Everything flies with time nurturing souls and Karma .. once parted can’t be together but the Soul awaits the divine feeling till last breath…(unconsciously) (unconditionally)
When you travel through my veins life seems seamlessly easy, reaching the journals someday gives you an opportunity to understand the past better. It is not necessary to be always jovial, rather just be yourself. Coping with the negatives puts you through high enabling life to take a plunge.
Every year, Mother’s Day come and I feel let me wish all the mothers around me or Let me give all my love to my Mum….
I struggle then and think how shall I move ahead to convey my love and affection in a perfect way to my mum. My coming few lines are tender, funny, mournful— to actually explore what is the meaning of mom and how it feels to be a mom.
Whether pampering, loving or coddling, mums tend to occupy a whimsical space in our lives – children may often see them as creators, like-Gods, who inrush and mend over the time and teach us how to see things in a feasible manner. Several writers since ages have expressed their relationships with their mums, sometimes with words, sometimes with pictures, often with ecstatic love and also with devotion.
My words are yet another – “words” penned down. Love you MOM
The angels, murmuring to one another – Can find, love among their burning terms of affection – But no one so devotional as that of a “Mother”
Love set you going like a fat gold watch.
The midwife slapped your footsoles, and your bald cry
Took its place among the elements of life … (this is what mother is)
Despite making her feel special for a day make her feel special everyday, guess that’s all what a mom needs. Take her to a memory lane where she recalls the nine months, the cuddle, overnight sleeplessness, crankiness and of course that one smile for which she lives today. Let her loose the grief of life with your big hug, and a promise to be with her forever.
Moms never change, their love remains forever, their heart melts with your every wound or a scratch maybe. Guys respect her to the core, not just to show the world or to write it down or to give someone a speech, but yes from deep of your heart follow her values and live her in you!
There is a piece in me that like to tenderly imagine my maverick and seditious soul. But, precisely, I love to have a picky and cosy relationship with my soul that can rub up against a little bit, putting me alive.